WAIT is what i AWAIT

Waiting is the worst feeling all of us have had. Be it waiting for that dreaded exams result or waiting for the phone to ring for job confirmation or waiting for the loved one's call or waiting for the bill to be paid...Each has a different feeling associated to it. Where at one moment u r expecting something really good to happen n afraid that it might not materialise and at the other time waiting for that dreaded momemnt to just pass away so that good times begin.. Phew I have experienced it time and again..

Lately Me n waiting have got synonymous.

I wish i could get rid off this feeling but more often than not, i tend to wait. It has something to do with my approach of stabilising myself. I have always been perceived and i guess i am a very restless person who gives up very fast. One of those desires to convert my weakness into a strength I have been working on this restlessness, the urge to give up and move on. I believe that restlessness was the quest to find that something which gives me stability, in my thoughts and my life. Its been 11 years since i started experiencing this momementum in my thoughts, always racing and trying to find something in the dark. I wouldnt know what. Now i know better who i am and what do i want. I know where does my stability comes from. Quite weird though cause from where it comes , it is equally agile. Maybe i was looking for that one who could understand my thoughts momentum and balance me. Trial and error made me go through the phases of maturity and insanity , there was always a cycle. It started with a balance of insanity with maturity , then again insanity with fun , then consistent insanity fused with super maturity and now eventuallly insanity with another insanity. I feel sane here.
The wait continues and meanwhile each day i try to argue whether is the wait justifiable or not , i still wait.Belief and persistence is what i have acquired in this journey. Belief in the thoughts and persistence in not giving up over the wait. I remember of Paulo coelho's excerpt which goes this way :
"If pain must come, may it come quickly. As i have a life to live, and i need to live it in the best possible. If he has to make a choice, may he make it now. Then i will either wait for him or forget him. waiting is painful. forgetting is painful. but not knowing which to do is the worst kind of suffering."
But eventually i still decide to wait knowing that for once i m sure about it.

Anyways apart from this serious wait ,I m sitting and wondering when would these exams get over and by when would my life resume back to normal ? This is again a wait but a different kind. I m so looking forward to the life therafter where i can once again start following my passion , dance my life to the glory, capture moments , travel backpacking and living life on the edge !!!

The thrill itself motivates me to pass these few days sooon.. :)
So the wait continues and meanwhile i decide to LIVE as happily and as joyfully as i can :)